Strange Eggs

Wednesday, March 30, 2005


My dog Wiffleball is as cute as Ben Towle's cat. Children supplied by Steve Ahlquist. Posted by Hello

Wednesday, March 16, 2005


MIKE'S H'CAUST HONOR
This may be the greatest NY Post headline ever.
Bush sent Mayor Bloomberg to Israel for the opening of the WW2 Museum.
This is the headline: "MIKE'S H'CAUST HONOR." They actually
abbreviated the Holocaust. Is Dr. Dre editing the NY Post? They made
one of history's greatest atrocities sound like it may have been a
hip-hop song.
"This one goes out to all the J's that died in the g'cide; killed by the N’Z’s"
If the post actually has any Jewish readers, this should cancel a few
subscriptions. They might as well stop shipping the paper to Florida.
Here's a link to the story: http://nypost.com/news/worldnews/42549.htm

Best,

Chris
 Posted by Hello


The Angriest Dog In The World (He’s so angry he can’t even move)
By David Lynch
David Lynch´s cartoon 'The Angriest Dog in The World' was published in local papers such as the L.A. Reader, Creative Loafing, New York Press and Westworld since 1983 until 1992.
The images always stay the same, at least, they were meant to. But somehow a cartoonist chose to include an increasing number of bones, sort of derailing the concept.
“Pete has a "running gag" ...”

Best,

Chris
 Posted by Hello


I LOVE AMERICA, AND WOULD LIKE IT RETURNED TO ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE

While I will not deny that this is an extraordinary nation, a nation that has changed the history of this world, and will continue to do so, I will quote the words of the servants the Romans use to put in the chariots right behind the victorious generals: Remember: Thou art mortal.
This country, for all it's changed and done, is a country of fallible human beings and institutions that can go out of control, or fall into disrepair. I say this not to blot out hopes of a better future, but to lay out the challenges always present for any civilization to maintain its identity, maintain its integrity.
I don't want us to become Europe. I want us to avoid its mistakes, and to pave our own path of culture, philosophy and art. But I want this country to remain the free-living, free-thinking nation that it is, and I don't want us to take a political detour into tyranny or decay. I don't want one generation of foolish and arrogant men to wreck it all. I believe that there was hopes amongst even the most jaded amongst us, after 9/11 that Bush would not take that path, or approach it, that he would rise to the challenge.
Instead, he has managed, to even my surprise to fail in just those ways. Bush may find something romantic and strong about us standing against the world, but I look at that, and I see pragmatic opportunities missed. We don't have to toe the European line. We just have to keep our disagreements from becoming discord. The harder we make it to influence policy in Europe against terrorism, the easier we make it on Osama to funnel his terrorists towards our shores. We don't need hubris and contempt for those who desire peace, we need an eye for we can get them to contribute, for what we can get them to agree to. Who knows, if we entangle them enough, perhaps they'll decide it's in their interests to help us.
Problem is, we've already gone and stirred things up. If we had let Iraq alone, a bombing like that in Madrid could have solidified European policy behind us, showed them that an Olympian ideal of peace was not tenable. It has only solidified opinion against our war efforts instead, because the context is our chaos generating war in Iraq.
Bush has a problem: he expects loyalty where he should only expect the working out of mutual self-interest. He expects best friends when he should only expect good relations. The trouble is, in terms of relationships with other countries, Bush lets the perfect be the enemy of the good.

Best,

Chris Posted by Hello

Tuesday, March 15, 2005


"TAN SLEEVE!"
It started in Miami, Florida, back in the eighties. The Wind was a fiery popcombo who "recalled the Beatles and Big Star" according to then-Rolling Stone writer Kurt Loder who gave the unknown group an unheard-of one page rave review in that paper. The group were local faves. The thrombosis-inducing live shows that went down at places like the Button and 27 Birds are still spoken of with reverence in the southeast. The band self-released the now-legendary "Where It's At With The Wind" and the Mitch Easter-produced "Guest Of The Staphs". A third LP, "Living In A New World" (Midnight Records) yielded the big MTV hit "Good News, Bad News". Then, like all good bands and butterflies, the Wind shriveled up and died.
End of story? Nah. After getting involved in projects as far flung as TV sitcoms and surrealist musical theater, the Wind's primary songwriters, Lane Steinberg & Steve Katz (now Steve Barry) found themselves living around the corner from each other in New York. Informally, they started gigging acoustically in the city with a young female Brazilian singer, Ella Conchita. They jokingly called themselves Teen Slave, due to Ella's youthful appearance and played mostly fun covers of obscure sixties tunes and soundtrack themes. Then, one day, Ella's number was disconnected and her apartment was vacated. No note, nothing. Lane & Steve were shocked (still are, she hasn't been heard from since) but decided to continue working together. They changed a few letters around and decided to call themselves Tan Sleeve. After outfitting their joint recording studio, they started writing slabs of new songs & recording them at a feverish pace. Many of the songs still retained the soft textures of their newer direction, but also recalled the pop savvy of the Wind. Then things started heating up: last year Lane had a compilation disc of his solo material (Wall of Orchids, Noel Coward's Ghost) released on EM records in Japan, and a Wind retrospective is scheduled to follow later this year. The Yellow Pilz label is slated to release the Wind records domestically, and the enclosed first official Tan Sleeve recordings have been released here on the Bus Stop Label. There is talk of a Japanese Tan Sleeve/Wind tour in the fall and a new Tan Sleeve record is 99% finished. Now if they can only get back the Jobim records Ella Conchita took back with her to Brazil, life would be perfect...
Chris Reilly

 Posted by Hello


"Condoleeza will lead us" Posted by Hello

"Condoleeza will lead us"

This song is actually not a joke. It's from the website:
http://www.americansforrice.com/
You can download the song "Condoleeza will lead us" right here:
http://www.americansforrice.com/Tan%20Sleeve.php
The band who recorded the song is none other than Tan Sleeve... don't
worry. No one's ever heard of Tan Sleeve.

I love this quote: "Most of us at Americans for Dr. Rice are "rock and
roll refugees" of the eighties, so we were certainly sympathetic.
Lane has a dream that one day his Russian-American wife will get to
meet Dr. Rice and speak with her in Russian and maybe play a duet
since she is a classical pianist, like Dr. Rice. None other than the
Chairman of the Republican National Committee, Ken Mehlman, admitted
that he liked the song on CNN's Inside Politics."
That's like admitting that you're addicted to smoking babies.
I know that Rice is some sort of creepy Vulcan/vampire hybrid, but
even she must be mortified by this.
You can stop wondering who elects such chowder heads to office; it's the sort of people that write songs like this and think they've got a clue.
Remember what Winston Churchill said: "If you’re young and not a liberal, you have
no heart. If you’re older and still a liberal, you have no brains." I think that give up and sell your soul because your not twenty five anymore, is typified by people in their 30's and 40's devoting their lives to: http://www.americansforrice.com/ or being in the band Tan Sleeve. You suck, Tan Sleeve.

Best,

Chris  Posted by Hello

Friday, March 04, 2005


Spider-Man's Greatest Bible Stories 1 Posted by Hello


Spider-Man's Greatest Bible Stories 2 Posted by Hello

Thursday, March 03, 2005


Everyone loves Kite-Man Posted by Hello


batman't greatest boner Posted by Hello


bone Posted by Hello


next day Posted by Hello


and later Posted by Hello


so! Posted by Hello


wuxtry Posted by Hello


Blood Posted by Hello

Guest Post by Steve Ahlquist

Chris Reilly once got into a kung fu brawl at an all night gas station. He was jumped by two muggers, and fought to defend himself. The guy working the gas station wouldn't call the cops, he just told them all to go away. He was safe inside his little booth, with it's bullet resisitant glass.

During the fight Chris screamed for the attendent to call the police, to no avail. Chris threw a punch, and missed, sending his arm through the plate glass covering a gas pump. The muggers saw the blood streaming from an openned arterie, and ran away. Chris ran to the booth, inside of which the attendant cowered.

"Call a fucking ambulance!" he screamed.

"Go away or I'll call the police!" screamed the attendant.

"Call the fucking police then you fucking moron!" screamed Chris.

Weakened from blood loss, Chris sat outside the booth, trying to staunch the blood. The police arrived, and called an ambulance. Neither cop would touch Chris or help him, because they were afraid of catching aids.

The ambulance came twenty minutes later. The sun was coming up. Chris went into the hospital, and recieved lots of stitches. He almost died.

True story.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005


Cast & Crew:
Renaldo Rey, Anna Maria Horsford, directed by Greg Carter
Synopsis:
Audrey is a typical music student at a large Midwestern college, interested in pursuing a career in classical music. Her apparent "normalcy," however, makes her something of a misfit in her family, made up as it is by a group of outrageous performers. Audrey's parents were funk/ R& B stars in the 1970s, while her brother currently reigns supreme on the hip hop and fashion scene, and her precocious little sister is a streetsmart MC in the manner of Lil' Kim. Take out the story and this sounds like an Old Navy commercial.
This film was directed by Greg Carter, the man responsible for such small screen gems as:
The Black Man's Guide to Understanding Black Women (2005)
Treasure in tha Hood (2005)
Survival of the Illest (2004)
Thug Life (2001) A karate/stunt/gangsta/westside movie which could have been a "Bruce Lee Visits The South Side" Spike Lee joint. The whole plot comes down to two guys beating the nuts out of each other in a strange gang/cult's hideout, and of course, the main character, Boo saves the day. “Boo” the black, karate bad-ass/hero… Boo.

MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Runtime: 1 hour, 48 minutes
Genre: Comedies, Comedy, Family Interaction, Rap/Hip Hop, Family Life, Music, Parents, Musicians
It’s funny that “family interaction” and “family life” have to be divided into two categories.

 Posted by Hello