Strange Eggs

Monday, December 13, 2004

The Boxing Bucket

There was once a bucket that people spit in. The bucket was spit in by a wide range of people. One day Edward G. Robinson and James Cagney spit in it simultaneously and from then on it became a prerequisite for Hollywood tough guys to visit said bucket, and huck it a loogie into the cylindrical vessel.
Tough guys from all over Burbank lined up to lob one into the bucket. Tough guys like:
Lee Van Cleef (famed master ninja, and mobster, ninja shooter, as demonstrated in the Octagon), Lee Marvin (Liberty Valence), John Wayne (The man who really shot Liberty Valence), Robert Mitchum, Sean Connery, Humphrey Bogart, Clint Eastwood, Dean “the Five Card Stud” Martin, Steve McQueen, James Coburn, Charlton Hesston (made the bucket the first, official “non human” member of the NRA)
One day, after being spit in by William Shatner, the bucket noticed that it had grown arms and legs. On October 14, 1988, to the bucket’s surprise, instead of hands, he had boxing gloves.
Several days later, Mickey Rourke, while on his “I’ll fight any drunken bum for a boxing title” tour, the now known as Boxing Bucket was challenged by Pope of Greenwich Village, to twelve rounds of leather slapping fisticuffs.
Mickey chose not to spit in the bucket, too selfish to chance that his saliva might more empower the Boxing Bucket…

Next page “The Boxing Bucket vs. Homeboy”
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